Experimentation was a dirty word when I was taking my undergrad degree in Fine Arts. Exploration, experimentation implied fooling around, not knowing where you were going, being directionless, not having anything to say, being weak & rudderless. So ready or not many of us committed to a way; painting, printmaking, illustrative work, abstract work, video work, whatever.

What called our names was to be in art school. And of course people naturally fell into, went towards a style & a medium with which to  tell their story. What was never considered in any class I took was the concept of ‘play & learn’.  Art was/is a serious business & one had to get on with it, declaring that voice, a concept, & deeper than that a raison d’etre. Anything less than declaring that found voice & you were considered to be in the wrong field.

Play & learn sounds like a concept Fisher Price came up with for the toddler set. I am glad to have very slowly turned to my inner toddler once again in the past few weeks. Years past graduation, years into my real world & self.

We have turned everything into work & judge ourselves and those around us on good work habits. We work out in the gym. We work at perfecting downward dog. We work at improving our self-discipline in food choices, exercise habits & money matters. We work on ourselves relentlessly.

In Thi Chi, my instructor urged us to ‘play Thi Chi’.

The past few weeks have not been artistically satisfying. I have been experimenting with a variety of approaches to painting & graphite on paper, with the purposeful intent of making some smaller works (there’s that word again) & producing more back to back pieces, as opposed to hanging around in front of a full body canvas for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks or more.  My ultimate comfort zone is size,  being energetically engaged by standing & moving, (maybe because I can hide there). So engaging in producing more small works is a huge challenge for me as a transition into the unknown, at least not recently known .

But out of that play, experimentation & exploration, allowing myself to go there, something has transpired. which I could not have foreseen. Therein lies the happy event, the mystery of where we might land if we give ourselves a chance to play & learn.
I copied styles other than my own, chuckled at the results & tossed them aside. I have done battle with several paper sizes in an attempt to find a landing spot for a series, & through that process I have come up with a whole new project. One that I know I cannot devote a lot of time to right now, because of my upcoming involvement in The Toronto Artist Project, March 1-4.  One which will come into play later & I know, find breath & light.

I do not reject the premise of work. On the contrary when I’m fully involved in my work, I can barely see the bigger picture of life. But I embrace aimlessness as method too. Not knowing exactly where one will end up, the giving up of control, doesn’t go against good daily habits. It feeds them though there is a rickety ladder missing several rungs to climb along the way.

Now I have that stupid jingle in my head; Play Laugh, Learn.